Some of us become so consumed in our traumas, that we allow them to become a part of our personality, our being. We began to associate them with who we are as a person, and so they solidify, making letting go of and healing them that much more difficult. We began to believe that without these pieces of ourselves, who would we be? The answer my dear friend is whole, full of joy and peace. There is no need to fear letting our demons be laid to rest, even though I understand why we feel fear in allowing this to be. Let me explain; for those of us that have lived extended periods of our life with trauma and pain, our ‘pain bodies’* (Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now) become akin to what essentially is a toxic relationship, or can be compared to exactly that. We find solace in them, as they have been the only place to turn when we are in unbearable emotional pain. They soothe us, even as they hurt us and tear us down, never allowing us to escape this cycle. But, we are blinded because we know no other way to cope. They are our best friends, even as they kill us slowly and take our ability to have true joy and inner peace. We are afraid to let go of the things that we feel are always there for us. What we can’t see is that when the universe is calling us to let go of old patterns and cycles that don't serve us anymore, it is ready at the end of the road holding something more beautiful than we would have ever been able to imagine for ourselves. Why do I know in my heart that this is true? Because along the road of healing is more work and more pain. I will not lie to you, it will absolutely get harder before it gets better, there is no ease along that road. When we decide to do the things that we know are hard, we teach ourselves that we are capable of doing hard things. The universe admires our decision to put in the work instead of taking the easy way out. It admires us giving our faith, as we don't know if there is something better waiting on the other side. In my experience, when the universe brings us a lesson and sees that, we in fact, prove its belief in us all along, reward is always waiting on the other side. My beautiful friends, don't be afraid. This life is just a ride, where good things are perpetual. So when we are in the dark, know that the light is always coming. Fight and never stop, and love yourself as you learn to know that the universe loves you and is always rooting for you to reach things that it has in store for you, that will be more beautiful than your wildest dreams.
Hoping the pain eases soon,
With love,
J♡
*Pain bodies:
It is an accumulation of painful life experience that was not fully faced and accepted in the moment it arose. It leaves behind an energy form of emotional pain. It comes together with other energy forms from other instances, and so after some years you have a 'painbody,' an energy entity consisting of old emotion.” https://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/blog/1in6-thursday-emotional-pain-body-part-1#:~:text=It%20is%20an%20accumulation%20of,entity%20consisting%20of%20old%20emotion.%E2%80%9D
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